I have been writing and rewriting this post for weeks in my brain. Not because its difficult, but because I want it to be written well. The past 6 months have been a time of thinking, growth, self examination, No matter how I put it I don’t think one word could accurately define it. I have managed to come up with three words: Step In Faith. I have been waiting for God to whisper in my ear and say “Thats what I want you to do”. Generally, I want to run and hide under my blankets when I hear someone whispering in my ear and no one’s around, I would like to think thats a semi normal reaction. Now I don’t actually hear God whisper though I can guarantee it would freak me out, I can’t describe the feeling of when I know God wants me to do something or the tugging of the Holy Spirit on a persons heart. I think its different for everyone. I have always said “I did not want to work with kids”and here I am teaching Sunday school for 1st-5th graders. In my mind they aren’t kids, they are peers and mini adults who have the privilege of not actually having to act like an adult yet. Maybe its because when we become a Christian we all end up on a semi even playing field. I think it has something to do with the learning curve Christ has given us. We all (adults and children) have the same playbook (Bible) we are all imperfect and have been given gifts to help do what he would like us to. I know that sounds really odd and to some maybe a little bit creepy (I promise its not). Holy Cow did I stray from my original thought line. I apologize I am all over the place and its always like that so please.. I beg you hang in there with me.
Ok let’s try this again.. Teaching for me is a very small step in faith. A couple months ago I set a few goals one of which was to take the Leap of Faith whether I liked what it was or not, whether I thought I could or not. When I say Leap of Faith or step in faith I mean it is a continual movement with no visual hesitation. I like to relate a step in faith to the Road Runner and Coyote cartoons…Yep a warner bros. semi violent cartoon. Stay with me for this, at the very least you might get a laugh out of it. So you have your typical cat and mouse chase only reimagined in a desert scene with a better delivery service than UPS and Fedex combined and a company that seems to have a huge arsenal assortment. So we will pick up with the Coyote’s first plan having backfired and he is back to chasing him. We’ve seen it before the roadrunner runs at full sprint from one cliff to the next, the Coyote begins to do the same thing but he looks down and he drops hundreds of feet to the sand below. I know this is a cartoon but like horror movies cartoons have rules that must be followed. The rule: when a cartoon character looks down and he is in mid air (and does not have the super power of flight) He or she will fall to the earth below, if the character does not look down he or she will make it across with no issues. The character who doesn’t look down but keeps going across the empty space would be like a person who is taking a leap of faith, you see no hesitation(doesn’t mean that they aren’t afraid) and the one who looks down and falls is the one with the visual hesitation. The roadrunner knows he is a cartoon and trust that he will not fall where the coyote either doesn’t realize he is a cartoon character or just doesn’t trust in the rule and he always falls. Plus it wouldn’t be as funny if neither one of them fell to the ground. See I told you, you would at least get a laugh out of sticking with me through my crazy thought. Yep I thought so. If you weren’t laughing you should be now. So I’m waiting to take my own jump, leap or step that God presents me with. However I don’t see anything coming my way. Then I see a thing in a church bulletin about a meeting for those wanting to go to Haiti. Honestly, I was slightly intrigued, I’ve never been on a missions trip outside of the U.S.A before. I went on missions trips as a teenager and have been wanting to go on one for a couple of years. So I made Dan go with me to this meeting. I want to go. My first prayer about the trip was literally “God if you want me to go than you will have to supply what I will need” Of course the number one need is money, after all money is needed to purchase a passport, a plane ticket, immunizations and anything I might be missing.

I think this was the step in faith I was supposed to strive for. Its a medical trip, we will be offering a clinic for those who live there. Our team leader would love to teach them about cleanliness( I use that word only because the one I want went running from my brain screaming NEVER!!) HYGIENE thats the word I wanted. As one of the only non medically trained going on this trip I have been told that there will be use for me. This trip is a chance to follow the great commission, love on people whose language I don’t speak, and help those in need. As of right now I have about $600 in my account and my passport has been payed for. In fact there is a really cool story about the passport. I and my prayer partners had been praying for $500 to show up in one day. Don’t ask me why I picked that number, I just happened to decide that was the amount I was going to currently pray for. So I get a check in the mail from someone who would like to remain anonymous and then my Mom out of the blue says she will buy my passport. The total between the check and passport was almost $500 my original figures for my passport actually made the two gifts equal $500. I cannot express how stunned I was. This has been its own adventure, just praying for the funding to come through. I wish my heart could physically speak to you,because I cannot express the feelings that I have had through this experience so far. The closest I can explain is wanting to fall down on my knees but at the same time I want to jump up and shout and praise so all can hear how amazing God is. I still have a long road to go between now and October, but I have been learning through this experience thing that I never thought I could measure for example my faith. When my down payment was due I only had a third of what I needed when I checked out my Gofundme page. I don’t know why but in under 5 minutes I went back to my Gofundme page and some wonderful soul had donated the rest of what was due that day. I honestly didn’t know how lacking my faith was until that moment. I didn’t trust that the money would be granted to me. I didn’t trust that God wanted me to go on this trip. However it was one of the best lessons a believer in Christ can learn. Faith is measurable, however in our fallen human world it will never be enough. I’m hoping that I will be able to keep my wonderful readers and friends up to date with the preparations of the trip as they happen. I would greatly appreciate prayer for the trip and if you feel led to donate there is a link to my GoFundMe page. I can’t wait until all of the fundraising is over. I really hate asking for money from people. I feel like the tv evangelist who all he does is ask for money and I don’t ever want to be seen that way and if I ever start acting that way I pray someone will smack some sense into me.. Sorry about the crazy lack of punctuation, in my brain this is all one long run on sentence.
And remember you only need a little faith trust and pixie dust(It makes me think of the holy spirit or Christ, don’t ask me why cuz I don’t remember and I love peterpan